


In which John is an idiot, Karkat doubts his decisions and Dave is hopelessly in love

by Starysky205



Category: Homestuck
Genre: ALLTHECHARACTERS, AUZ character actually, F/M, I'm going to hate myself, M/M, Other, also OCs, i like tags, not that anyone cares, omg what am I thinking, so I guess there's that, spoilers for AUZ, the davekat will be there though, why am i writing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-03-18 15:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3574605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starysky205/pseuds/Starysky205
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm here to put good titles and write fluff, but I'm all out of good titles... to make up for this I decided to go all Alternian, actually all titles in this story will be Alternian</p><p>((If you see this or any other of my works on E-Books DO NOT download them, I gave no permition for them to be shown))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which the OCs are introduced

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also known as: In which there's a love triangle, because there's only one troll involved, and unrequited flush-crushes make everything stressful for the one OC who's tied up in this because she's the moirrail of the one troll of the equation  
> The fluff will appear in latter chapters

If anything it had all started because of a strange conversation with a girl that seemed to have a bad case of sugar high, and to be completely honest Karkat had no clue how in the world he had ended up becoming friends with four of the least known students of all Skaia high, or he thought so, later occurrences proved him wrong with the fact that everyone else in his circles seemed to know at least one of them, and latter he found out that the secret leader of the group was in fact not only  ‘a very popular cookie’, but also good friends with the seniors, mainly Dirk Strider since they were in the same club. This girl was no other than Robin Aresta, a violet-eyed red-haired girl that liked knives a little too much and spoke with a lisp, but what made Karkat get along with her was the fact that he liked rom-coms almost as much as he did and she understood troll’s ways a little too well; the troll realized two things about the red haired, the first was the fact that she was taller than him despite being younger, the second was that no matter how he looked at it Robin Aresta was always ‘a little too much’; this also applied to anyone close to her

The one to introduce them, Casidy, was a little too random, Gregory who was the same age as Dirk, was a little too loud, and Benedict, who definitely had a crush on Robin, was a little too obvious. He got along with them nevertheless but ended up hanging a little too much around Robin, it made him almost laugh

The friendship with the red-haired human had its benefits; Robin was the most open-minded person ever, what with being a pansexual and everything, and knew how to read people. Karkat had been present when she, in a matter of seconds, had made a full-out psychological analysis of a rather strict teacher, the man had been rendered speechless except for the word ‘how’; having that experience he decided it wouldn’t be a bad idea to rely on Robin’s better judgment

This maybe was the reason that the troll was now in front of said red-haired human, shifting awkwardly as she maps him out with her eyes; with a silent sigh Robin tries to soften this for him

“You do realize he’z hell-bent on the fact that he iz not a homozexual, right?” asked Robin

Despite her horrible failure at being sensible about it, Karkat knows where she comes off and growls

“I’m not some idiotic ass-wipe Aresta, I probably know that better than anyone else on this fuking school, I doubt even Strider knows it as much as I do” said Karkat

“Juzt checking Kar, no need to get jumpy about it” said Robin

Karkat rolls his eyes and is very much ready to just abandon this conversation, when he feels a hand taping his shoulder and turns to see Robin smiling softly

“Well, if you want to woo Egderp you’ll have to go through Ztrider first” said Robin

“Could you please refrain from speaking like him?” asked Karkat

“I hang around Dirk too much like to make any promizez” said Robin

Karkat rolls his eyes once again

“What do you have againzt Dave anyway? You two hardly even know each other” said Robin

“He’s an annoying douchebag” said Karkat

“No Alternian inzultz? muzt be a zpessial caze~” said Robin raising an eyebrow

“I DO NOT HATE STRIDER LIKE THAT YOU INSUFRABLE SHITSTAINS FOR BRIANS” said Karkat

“Then why do you get zo angry?” asked Robin

Karkat turns at least ten different shades of red and looks away, fuck Aresta and her ability to turn his words against him

“Fine, we can zkip that for now, but it needz to happen at zome point” said Robin

“I fail to see how getting into Strider’s ‘good side’ would warrant me anything other than constant pain in my think-pan” said Karkat

“Part of the human ritualz of courtzhip” said Robin

“Are you fuking serious?” asked Karkat

“You zeriouzly do not want me to anzwer that queztion” said Robin

“You are despicable being Aresta” said Karkat

“I try” said Robin

The troll huffed which caused the other to chuckle, then she smiled softly, a way of saying that the teasing was over

“Romantic izzuez azide, how are you holding up?” asked Robin

Ah, right, this is why he actually bothered hanging out with her, despite all the teasing and the ‘higher than thou’ personality that Robin portrayed so well the red-haired was a big softie on the inside, quite sensible and very protective of her friends

“Like usual” said Karkat

“You know, if you need to talk to zomeone I’m here, I won’t judge” said Robin

“I already tell you everything idiot” said Karkat

“Ah~ that makez me happy” said Robin grinning

“Shut up” said Karkat

The red haired grinned a bit more but kept quiet, he hadn’t lied, Robin was really easy to talk to after all, but there were some things that she couldn’t do, that was reserved for his moirrail

“Well, I have to go to my club now, but let’z walk home together” said Robin

Karkat gave a nod and Robin left, leaving the troll alone, she obviously had something in her mind, he wondered when exactly was that he started being able to read the other


	2. In which a morrialigance is formed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin’s lisp makes writing on word a challenge; I have to keep reminding myself that if anything said by her doesn’t have errors I probably messed up

After a head-ache inducing session with the art club, of which you weren't part of but helped because Kanaya had asked and you couldn’t say no to her; you met with Robin by the lockers, she was laying on hers, a door so filled with words that it wasn’t anywhere near that shade of faded grey the ones around it shared, the school apparently had no issues with it as it had stayed the same, on a closer inspection you noticed that there were all phrases from books, movies or songs in various shades of pink, violet, purple, blue, red, brown, yellow and green, and also every other color in between, it was a true work of art  
“Ah, would you like to add zomething, there’z ztill zome zpasse and I’m lacking the color gray” said Robin smiling  
“If you can find a permanent marker on that color, then sure” said Karkat  
She grinned  
“I found one teal colored, I think I’ll be fine finding zomething as common az grey” said Robin  
“How in the ever loving fuck did you find one teal colored?” asked Karkat  
“It’z a long ztory, I’ll tell you when I find yourz, in the meantime you can think of something to write, people tend to write deep ztuff here for zome reazon” said Robin  
“I noticed” said Karkat  
“Well, go drop your thingz or whatever and let’z hit the road” said Robin  
Karkat rolls his eyes but complies, Robin follows him to his locker, which isn’t that far off, Karkat gets his stuff and the two walk out of the building and into the streets; at least it’s a nice day  
“Zo, I did zome research with the heart club, didn’t mention you by the way, and I found out a few thingz you may be interested with” said Robin  
Karkat raises an eyebrow, Robin grins in a way that is definitely mischievous  
“Well, would you like to eat zhit-food with me?” asked Robin  
“What are you planning Aresta?” asked Karkat  
“When in the world did you ztart being able to read me, Cazzie ztill haz troublez with doing that and we known each other zinsse grade zchool” said Robin  
Karkat raises an eyebrow, Robin raises both of hers with her eyes serious, and the troll lets out a laugh at her which she happily joins in  
“I promize you that if worze comez to worze I’ll ztep in” said Robin  
“Fine, okay, but if you dare abscond on me I wear I’ll put my foot o high in your human hole that you’ll be able to actually taste it” said Karkat  
“Which one?” asked Robin  
“What do you mean which one?” asked Karkat  
“Female human anatomy Kar” said Robin  
“I don’t fucking know, whichever hurt the most” said Karkat  
“Kinky” said Robin  
Karkat made a sound that was between a growl and a groan; Robin giggled at him and then kept walking in silence  
Once they reached what had to be the shitiest fast-food restaurant in town, and therefore the only place one could afford eating at with their teenage savings, Robin hurried her steps a little to get to the doors first and open them for the troll who threw an Alternian insult her way to which she mocked perfectly by making her voice rough like she had screamed too much, Karkat pretended that it didn’t amuse him nor did it sound like him at all. Inside the troll saw a certain group and made a turn to abscond only to be stopped by Robin who side-stepped into his way  
“You need to stop hanging around Strider” said Karkat  
“Zorry Kar, that’z probably not gonna happen” said Robin  
Karkat glares at her as she pushes him into the line to order, he doesn’t stop even after they are sitting in a booth nearby the other table; at least Robin took the seat that has a better view to the one group that just so happens to be there  
“Would you believe me if I zaid that I didn’t know they would be here?” asked Robin  
His glare intensifies and Robin can tell he's going to kill her, so she paps his head smiling softly until he calms down a little  
"Forget about the matezpritzhip ordeal, we need to find you a moirrail!" exclaimed Robin  
"Fuck you" said Karkat  
"What if I do it, become your moirrail?" asked Robin  
"Are you serious?" asked Karkat  
"Yeah, think about it, I practically already am, I mean zeriouzly, I juzt paped you to calm you down!" said Robin  
Robin gives him a soft smile, he smiles back faintly; it's good, he looks happy  
“With that out of the way, I may have known they would be here but I waz alzo attacked by the zudden need of grazzy food” said Robin  
“You’re a fucking idiot” said Karkat  
She smiles sheepishly and laughs awkwardly; he rolls his eyes at her  
“The oddz were in my favor Kar, and you don’t have to jump into it either, I’m zure we can play it off az coinssidensse” said Robin  
“I’m starting to doubt your ability to help me with this” said Karkat  
“Oh, zhuzh” said Robin  
Luckily, or maybe not so much, nothing interesting really happened, Karkat felt kind of relieved when the other group left, Robin just kept eating her food  
“About those thingz you would be interested in, John iz somewhat confuzzed about hiz zexual orientation and what not” said Robin  
Karkat raises an eyebrow at her and she puts her food down sighing  
“I know it’z not exactly the bezt kind of relationship but it could work, I could probably convinsse him, but he could always azk Dave zo…  
“That’s why you want me to be on good terms with that asswipe?” asked Karkat  
“Among other reazonz, yez” said Robin  
She then grins and gives her hamburger a bite, once she swallows she directs the grin at him  
“First well need to convinsse Dave, you can leave that to me” said Robin  
“Should I be worried about that?” asked Karkat  
Robin chuckles and then busies herself in finishing his food, Karkat noticed that he wasn’t really all that nervous now; they should’ve thought the morrialigance a lot sooner  
Robin walked Karkat to his house and made him swear that he would call if anything happened, also declared that she was making Friday the official movie night so they were both banned from making plans on that day unless it was family related so he should tell his dad about it now, or whoever was there to listen and give a fuck about it, Karkat couldn’t say no to any of that and was finally looking forwards to Friday


	3. In which the third party is involved knowingly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cons of writing Homestuck: Having to remind myself not to slip into retrospective first person and keep the narrator point of view as it should be   
> I feared writing for Dave because of the metaphors; I think I did well though

One could say that it was merely him recognizing the fact that Nubby Mcshouts was actually appealing to the eye; he would probably just ignore it if it were the case. But there was something about one Karkat Vantas that had him unable to do so

Being a cool kid, Dave did the only thing he knew how to, annoy the fucker to death, he was really good at it and the reactions were just priceless, the bothering Karkat strategy worked somewhat, although there were times when it didn’t and Dave had to abscond, he realized that he was probably developing a crush on the short troll

As luck would have it he now hangs around Aresta’s group, Robin is cool you guess, they seem to click together and it makes him somewhat jealous but he holds that thought because that’s going too far. Robin is also the go-to person when it comes to any sexuality problems, for humans at least, Rose could also be considered this but she’s more the analyzing type, Robin is the “one look to know” type and she actually takes matters in her hands, although they sometimes work together, if they do you better bet the problem will be solved

When Robin approaches Dave though, he has no idea what to think of it, Aresta seems to always have a plan but the red-hair in front of him seems kind of desperate

“Ztrider” said Robin

And yes, that’s Robin voice, it has to be her because her lisp is like a trade mark, people can imitate it all they want, you’d still be able to tell the original apart. Of course this helps very little with making sense of what’s going on right now; in fact it makes it even more confusing

“I need your help with a little something” said Robin

“Sure, I’m listening, no one would hear you better” said Dave

She rolls her eyes successfully cutting the upcoming metaphor before it happens, which makes Dave curse at the amount of time his brother spends with her, he can’t blame her because the Strider charm is a powerful one

“Well, I have a hard caze, he zeemz to have a thing for Egbert” said Robin

She tries hard not to say the surname incorrectly but he knows she was going to and smirks a little, she instantly frowns at him and he has to give it to her for reacting that fast so he decides to humor her

“I have news for you Aresta, so better pay attention” said Dave

The frown fades and she looks straight into his eyes, it still unnerves him a little when she does that but reminds himself that Casidy is the one at fault, what with her being a fellow albino and wearing shades every now and then, he blames his brother just as much

“I can’t convince my best bro of anything until I know who you’re setting him up with” said Dave

She sighs and her eyes wonder off, she’s tense

“I know how Ztriderz work Dave, but I also respect the wizhez of my moirrail, thank you very much” said Robin

Dave almost freezes, he knows about troll romance thanks to that one thing he had with Terezi a while ago, he also knows that he has seen Karkat around Robin a little more often than common so he puts two and two together. Robin was probably aiming for this, she couldn’t tell him who it was directly but couldn’t be blamed for this slip, problem was that Dave had hard time swallowing the fact that the one troll he was having troubles getting out of his head, had a crush on his best friend but he had to quick about hiding his reaction because he was standing in front of one Robin Aresta, and if anything it’s like standing in front of Sherlock Holmes after you committed the crime, only no one died and you left no clues, but she would know anyways because detectives work like that… luckily she doesn’t notice, or if she does she doesn’t comment on it

“I know John iz having troublez with hiz zezuxality, zo I juzt need you to convinsse him of letting me help” said Robin

And there’s why one always have to be careful around an Aresta, they’ll read you like a book and use it for their own purposes, Robin is at least after people happiness but her sister is a scary woman, luckily for everyone the older Aresta is away at college

“I can’t promise you he won’t just ask me” said Dave

“I’ll take care of that obviouzly, I’ll also handle the moody troll when time comez zo there’z that, zo if you do this I’ll owe you one” said Robin

“Fine, I’ll take your word on that” said Dave

Robin grins at you and then she’s gone, she’s getting faster at absconding; you decided to go talk to John, whatever it is you’re feeling will probably fade sooner or later and it’s not like Karkat can stand him anyway

Maybe he should have realized this is how it would turn out, but ignoring things like that is what makes him a cool kid, at least at the particular moment, and handling them when they blow up on his face makes him all the more cool because normal people couldn’t handle such a thing. Silently, Dave Strider wishes he had never agreed on helping with the whole plan to get Karkat and John together, he feels the regret sweeping in the moment John looks at him like he had just gave him the answers to everything even though all he did was tell the guy that Robin could probably help him out; but of course things could only go badly from there


	4. In which the plot starts making sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John… JOHN, fuck this dorky idiot, I can’t write for him to save my life   
> On more interesting news, I’m making this story short so I can focus on other works

One could also very well say that it started when John finally decided to hear his best friend and talk to one Robin Aresta, and following that train of thought one could very well say that the read head was the one at fault, one would be very much right to think that but they would also need to understand a few things  
First off, however, one should concentrate in how it happened and then the why. The how is the one explained here  
John Egbert was usually very quick to remind everyone that he was no homo, even when he himself started doubting such proclamation, he obviously hasn’t said as much to too many people, just the ones he could trust with such a thing, which somehow included Dave, but unlike with other matters this time the cool kid did actually offer some help, or rather pointed at someone who could help, it just so happened that said someone was a certain red-haired girl who spoke with a lisp but in a friendly enough manner  
John had only ever crossed words with Robin on two occasions, once when he tried to join the hacker club and she was messing around with something in a computer, Sollux introduced her to him and also introduced him to Benedict, Benedict was amazing at coding but unlike Sollux he didn’t mind sharing his knowledge, Robin was mainly there to check a few things in Sollux’s computer, she apparently was the bet when it came to cleaning stuff up the troll said he would do it himself but couldn’t be bothered and she just laughed at him. The second time is something neither of them talks about, John would only ever say that the girl saved him big time and Robin would just say she was at the right place at the right time; that one occasion might have had part of the fault in John trusting Robin with something like this when he barely knew her, Robin of corse said that maybe it’d be better to convince a troll because they would be more ok with this sort of thing, everything was going according to plan, until it wasn’t  
In retrospect the red-head should have known that the whole pissing Karkat off was Dave’s way of keeping the distance, she shouldn’t have tried to help them actually get along, but the violet-eyed teen had obviously too blind to see the mess that ensued happening, which was probably why when both Dave and Karkat were on her house just arguing with each other she all out auspistice-sized their asses apart and glared at them in a way that gave no room for commentary, her voice however remained the same but they felt that made the whole thing a lot more terrifying  
“I am zo done with you two, I’ll get your azzez in plasse” said Robin  
Her posture changed and Karkat seemed to regain some of his confidence back because he started up a low sound, she growled back kind of startling him  
"One outing, not a date but with enough time for the two of you to try and find zomething in common" said Robin  
"And why the fuck would we do that?" asked Karkat  
"Well, it'z either that or me locking you in a clozet, your pick" said Robin  
Karkat shivered which caused Robin to grin; Dave looked from one to another suddenly feeling concerned about the mental health of the read-head  
"N-no fuking way I'm going through that shit again" said Karkat  
"You would actually do it?" asked Dave  
Violet eyes shifted towards him, almost staring through his shades, it was unnerving to say the least  
"If it comez to it then yez, I don't really have any izzuez doing it" said Robin  
She then smirked in a way that was entirely intimidating and went back to looking at Karkat  
"Izn't that right Kar?" asked Robin  
"I wouldn't put it past you Aresta" said Karkat  
So it was decided, the two idiots would go out to sort their little problem, that was actually a really big thing, Karkat and Robin would have their movie night and then the next week the plan would be put in motion, she had already told John she’d get him someone to agree and that they would arrange things on Monday, when Friday came around Karkat was both eager and pissed off, Dave on the other hand dreaded Saturday for it was when they were supposed to go out and he really didn’t want to get more fucked than he already was, but he knew things were going downhill and there was no stopping it


	5. In which the two protagonists (do not) go on a date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m currently arguing with my computer  
> I had so much fun writing this, you have no idea

Friday came and went way too fast, or at least Dave thought so, John had complained about the day going too slow, luckily neither the blue-eyed dork, nor anyone else just yet, noticed anything weird about him. But by Saturday he’s shaking and his sister catches him, the real reason he got into the street at all was because he was absconding from her, he then figured he should just head to the Aresta-Mills household while he’s out because, now that he thinks about it, he really doesn’t want to find out if Robin was serious about the closet  
On the other hand, Friday went really great for Karkat, once he got out of school that is. Robin and him walked to the red-head’s house and Karkat was reminded of the fact that one Gregory Mills was in fact related to his new-found moirrail, it literally took the guy parking his motorcycle right in front of him to make that connection, it was easy to forget since they didn’t look like brothers at first sight but once you remembered you could see the similarities, not like with Dave and Rose or John and Jade, but still there were some  
Lunch was made by Robin, who made the best spaghetti ever and no one could tell you otherwise, they then proceeded to go to the living room and Karkat helped Robin set up the living room while Gregory went on doing his own things  
“Do you want to do your homework now zo you don’t have to do it later?” asked Robin  
“That, might actually be a good idea” said Karkat  
“Good, I’m planning to write thiz weekend zo I could really uze the free time” said Robin  
And so they did their homework, Robin was really good at history, Karkat was better at chemistry and they both were on equal ground on Spanish which developed into an all out conversation in the language that kept going through the rest of the subjects, neither of them was all that good at biology but Robin had a knack for math and Karkat found geography was more of his forte, or at least he was better than Robin  
“Fuck Aresta, how is it possible that I know this planet better than you?” said Karkat  
“I juzt zuck at thoze kind of thingz” said Robin  
“She’s not lying, she wouldn’t know where the North is even if you pointed it out, it’s a wonder how she doesn’t get lost in the city” said Gregory  
He had gotten downstairs at some point and was dressed to go out; Robin rolled his eyes at him  
“I know how to get places, not how to guide others to them” said Robin  
Gregory chuckles and Karkat raises an eyebrow  
“Why are you here anywayz? I thought you didn’t like zeeing me work” said Robin  
“I don’t, I’m just going out and decided to bother you” said Gregory  
“Of courze, you coming back?” asked Robin  
“Nah, the guys got a bunch of new games so I’m staying there, don’t burn down the house” said Gregory  
“Zhut up, it waz one time!” said Robin  
“You burned down your hive?” asked Karkat  
“I waz zeven! Who the hell leavez a zeven year old by herzelf?”  
“Yes, yes, whatever, I’ll go now” aid Gregory  
Karkat decided not to pry anymore about that and Robin concentrated on doing her work furiously, once they finished she was somewhat calmer and let him pick the first film they would watch, then they took turns picking movies and by dinner time they were laughing and arguing and screaming at the screen, it was amazing, they had pizza because Robin didn’t feel like cooking again and pizza could be eaten in the living room. They felt asleep in the bundle of pillows and blackest they had installed there after turning the TV off  
The next morning Robin had the decency of making breakfast, which consisted of toast because really neither actually ate breakfast; then she fixed him up against his protests because she aid he had the worst case of bed-head ever and that she wouldn’t let him outside looking like that, it took the ringing of the door-bell to actually get what she was doing  
“Go answer the fucking door and leave my hair alone you insufferable nookwif” said Karkat  
Robin let him go but smiled while she went to get the door, Karkat hid in the living room and she opened the door  
“Hi Dave, good to zee you actually came, let me get Karkat” said Robin  
She went back in leaving the door open so Dave could come inside, he saw how she dragged the troll out of hiding and into the entrance  
“Now, be nisse and zay hello to mr Ztrider” said Robin  
Karkat growled but wasn’t fighting her hold, Dave smirked  
“Always nice to see you Karkles” said Dave  
“Yeah whatever, let’ just get this over with” said Karkat  
Robin pushed him outside and then gave Dave an amused smile  
“Remember the deal Ztrider, play nisse” said Robin  
Dave raised his hands in defense and she gave an approving nod, he got outside where Karkat was waiting still scolding  
“Uze protection” said Robin  
“Shut the fuck up” said Karkat  
She rolled her eyes smiling and then closed the door, once she was out of the picture a weird awkwardness settled with them  
“Uhm so, there’s a fair not too far from here” said Dave  
“Fine, sure, I can deal with that” said Karkat  
“Great, so let’s go” said Dave  
Against all odds this wasn't as shitty as either party thought it'd be, Dave even managed to crack a smile on Karkat's face a few times, but as soon as he managed to make Karkat laugh he was done for, seriously the troll had to had the cuttest laugh ever, it should be a sin for someone so grumpy to have such a cute laugh, this is bad, he's going to want to hear it again, that can't end well and... shit! It's already happening, isn't it? Danm that troll and his cute laugh and danm Aresta for making him go through this. Although he guesses she was right, the two of them could get along when they wanted to, and he has to admit that Karkat's not so bad to hang arround, and it probably beats the closet... that would have raised many questions from everyone and probably endless teasing from the read-head  
Karkat on the other hand had a decent day and thinks that maybe Strider isn't so bad after all, Robin probably guessed they should get along since Karkat was interested in John, a friendship with Strider could only end well, right?


	6. In which the blame is directed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took way too long, the fluff is coming
> 
> Beware!!

In truth it didn’t matter what one said, if anything one might have realized this as well, cause for all terms and purposes it was all simply an act of stupidity by the person with all the game pieces

Robin Aresta went to school with her homework done, a plan on play and a very good feeling about the outcome of her last moves, she wasn’t so sure about her next ones though and figured it would be better to comment this to her new moirrail

Robin found Karkat shouting at Sollux and approached the two trolls carefully, once she saw it wasn’t particularly caliginous she fastened her steps

“Zupziez!” said Robin

The two turned to her, Karkat seemed to tense a little, he knew she had something planned for today and was kind of nervous about it

“Thup RB” said Sollux

She gives the troll a smile and then looks at Karkat

“I’ll like to hear about zaturday, I ztill have zome detailz to fix about today and it could help” said Robin

Karkat nodded, glad not to be thrown into anything just yet, the red-head dragged him away while waving at an amused Sollux who was probably connecting the dots. Once they were well away of the other troll Robin let him walk normally

“Zo, I want detailz” said Robin

Karkat realizes she’s talking about the whole Dave ordeal, he can deal with that

“I’ll give to you Aresta, it wasn’t as bad as I thought” said Karkat

“I really feel like zaying told you zo, but I really, literally, puzhed you into it” said Robin

“Should have thought that sooner fuckass” said Karkat

“Well that’z one thing lezz to worry about, now about today” said Robin

Karkat tensed again but then saw Robin fidget and got confused

“I uhm… are you zure you want to go along with thiz, you look rather tenze” said Robin

He stops dead on his tracks making her have to walk back to get back to him, when she sees his expression she sighs

“Look, you’re all nervouz and tenze, if you don’t want to do it today I can tell John to wait one more day” said Robin

“No” said Karkat

Violet eyes widen at the outburst, she makes a noise on the back of her throat and Karkat calms down a bit

“I’m not backing out now, you already convinced Egbert, I might as well go along” said Karkat

Robin hums in a way that’s so troll-like that Karkat is kind of thrown off, he thinks maybe humans use them on a different manner

“I guezz that zolvez that then, we’ll do that during lunch” said Robin

She then stated walking away, they didn’t share too many classes but that was ok

“Remember not to look too eager or you might fuck thiz up!” says Robin before storming off

Karkat breathes in an out and heads towards his classroom, today would be a moved day. Robin walks to her classroom at a slower pace than normally, the feeling of dread towards today’s events grew, something was going to happen today, she shook her head and hurried her step until she reached her normal, confident swing, if something was happening today then she would just have to deal with it like she always did, she was not letting insecurity screw this up, she owed Karkat that much.

-Time skip-

John was kind of worried with what was going to happen today, Robin had sent him a message during the morning to meet her at lunch, when the time came she saw her waiting on the hallway

“Egbert, I waz ztarting to think you wouldn’t zhow up” said Robin

“Yeah, I kind of thought I wouldn’t either” said John

Robin put her hands on her waist, as if annoyed by his words

 “Don’t undereztimate me Egbert; I knew thiz would be weird for you” said Robin

She then looked around and smiled in a way that could mean nothing good

“Which iz why I think I made a good choisse for you” said Robin

Her eyes seemed trained on someone else; John turned to look and met with a well known face

“Karkat?” asked John

“Hello idiot” said Karkat

“I thought it’d be better if you did thiz with zomeone you knew” said Robin

Karkat huffed, he looked a lot less angry than usually, besides Karkat was supposed to know a bunch about these types of things o it was probably the best choice, Dave was right about Robin

“Well, I’ll leave the two of you alone, be nisse to him Kar” said Robin

With those words she left, Karkat seemed somewhat tense, John found himself glad that he wasn’t the only one being nervous

Robin, on the other hand had other things to worry about, things such as a certain Strider suddenly pulling her into an unused classroom, had Robin been anyone else she would have fallen on her knees due to the fast movement, but she wasn’t so she was still standing

Robin looked at him and met with red eyes, her violet orbs widened, sure she had seen Dave’s eyes before, granted it was an accident but it still counted, she wasn’t surprised by the colour but by the fact that she was seeing them

“Zhit, what’z wrong?” said Robin

“We have a problem” said Dave

Then everything fell in, it surprised her but she felt like she could be wrong, like she needed to ask

“Iz thiz about Karkat?” asked Robin

“I’m not gonna ask how you know because I know you’re just like the guru of this sort of thing, but yeah” said Dave

“How bad iz it?” asked Robin

The shades were back, Robin let out something that sounded very much like a growl, Dave turned to her surprised and saw her hit her head with her hand

“Ztupid!” said Robin

She then looked at him, her expression seemed challenging

“Zo, what will you do?” said Robin

It was her way of saying sorry, she fucked up, but she could do little to reverse the situation now, so it was up to him

“You’re his moi-something, do I need your permission to woo him?” asked Dave

“Moirrail” said Robin

Dave rolled his eyes, although she couldn’t see it now that he had his shades back on, she smiled and gave a thumbs up

“Romansse hiz pantz off” said Robin


	7. In which the main character is confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, was kind of blocked for this story  
> This way of writing is so much easier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Read in stressed tone]  
> I apologize for any and all OoC-ness that might appear in this chapter

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you're definitely regretting this

Your moirrail, missies Robin Aresta, has all but tricked you into participating in what can only be the most humiliating thing ever invented, which is to say, she left you alone with your flush-crush, one John Egbert to have lunch together, everything was alright, you and John actually talked a little, discussed movies and what not, but then you didn’t know what else to talk about and the two of you were attacked by the mother of all awkward silences

Sure you had liked John for a while, granted some of that time it was blacker than it was red, but things kind of changed when you actually started chatting with the prankster via pesterchum. Talking through a machine was a lot easier when it came to John, this also applied to some of your other friends, like Sollux for instance, who was a lot less of an asshole on the web and with his matesprit, but that was different

Matespritship is a very important thing in troll romance, so it wasn’t that odd that it took you some time for your black feelings to turn red, however now that you actually had a chance to actually, to put it in human terms, ‘make a move’… you are currently doubting your own decisions

“So uhm, how did Robin Convince you of doing this?” asked John

Fuck, ok, think quickly; try not to give anything away

“She’s my moirrail, it wasn’t that hard for her” you say

It sounds believable enough, mainly because in any other situation that would be a plausible occurrence, not only because she’s your moirrail either, Aresta has a way with words. John seems to believe that, thankfully he doesn’t make any stupid questions so you think this might actually work

==>  Stop being Karkat

You stop being Karkat and become Dave Strider, you become him in hopes of getting the outlook from the view of the cool kid; you don’t know if you will succeed but you will try regardless

You are the cool kid and you have just left the place where you’ve been having a real talk with one Robin Aresta, the details of the talk are not something you’ll discuss but you’ve been given the green light on wooing her moirrail, problem was you would have to solve the Egbert problem first

You walk into the cafeteria to realize that the Egbert problem might be a bit easier to solve than you thought, John is being his dorky self and Karkat is obviously trying not to get into an argument with him. Time to be the knight in shining armour and save the obviously distressed troll; by which you mean become a bothersome asshole to savage what appears to be a very awkward situation so you make your way to the table thinking how to make this work

“Sup dudes” you say coolly

You were honestly expecting Karkat to growl at you but are instead rewarded with an expression of sheer annoyance, but it isn’t directed at you, you can tell that much, John looks nervous now, poor kid must be embarrassed or something, it’s not like they were doing anything romantic, you really don’t want to think about what would’ve happened if they were, it’d probably break your tiny heart seeing something like that

“Hi Dave, I thought you didn’t eat to be ironic or something?” said John

“Dude, being in the cafeteria makes it all the more ironic” you say

“But, doesn’t it make you hungry?” asked John

“Nah bro, I ate during recess” you say

John smiles in a way that tells you he doesn’t understand completely so you direct your attention to Karkat who has been playing silent troll

“Dude, are you dead? You haven’t snapped at me yet… yo, earth to Karkles! Dude, John, did you break Karkat?” asked Dave

==> Be Karkat

You go back to being Karkat; you are currently losing your shit because of what just happened

You were starting to regret everything you’ve ever said, because listening to John hurts your think pan in ways you had forgotten, although you’re not sure how you forgot that. You were going to snap, Robin would understand and look for someone else to help the dork, she should give you a prize for holding on this much, what did you find pitiful about this idiot?

Just when you were going to rant at John for being horrible a certain cool guy appeared, problem was that you never felt this glad about seeing someone and that thought combined with Dave Strider was simply not right, you hear him talk but you’re not listening because the sound is nice and you’re freaking out so you just get up and abscond the hell out of there, you hear John say your name but you run

You run fast with no real direction, you end up on the roof where you see Robin calmly eating her lunch, she glances at you and her violet eyes widen

She’s at your side faster than you can think and has you shaking in her arms, there’s a familiar noise coming from her and you don’t realize it’s clicking until you calmed down somewhat

==> Stop being Karkat

“How in the world are you doing that sound?” asked Karkat

The sound stopped

“I figured it would help, doez it bother you?” asked Robin

“No, it helps, but you might hurt your throat” said Karkat

“You’re uzing human anatomy, I’m zo proud” said Robin

“Oh, forget about it, I don’t know why I even bothered” said Karkat

Robin chuckled; her breathing and steady beat were calming

“But zeriouzly, what’z wrong?” asked Robin

Karkat growled, Robin started clicking again

“Just… I don’t think I pity Egbert a much as I thought” said Karkat

Robin didn’t stop clicking, a way of saying she wa listening but not saying anything, Karkat then told her all that happened, how he had brightened up when Dave interrupted and how he panicked and run away, Robin listened quietly

“I’m zorry, I thought something waz off today, zhould’ve told you” said Robin

Karkat let out a chocked laugh, he hid himself in the red-head not noticing the door opening, Robin did and sent the intruder an ‘it’s ok’ sign and probably shooed them out never stopping the sound she was making


	8. In which we reach the stand-by

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I suck, you can hate me

 Karkat lifts his head and finds a surprised pair of violet eyes, pale hands are on his face almost immediately and he doesn’t know how to act

“Uhm, no need to panic but you eyez are changing” said Robin

He’s suddenly glad she has her hands on his face because he’s definitely panicking and she’s the only thing holding him up

“I can let you borrow zome of my colored contactz if you want me to” said Robin

Karkat makes a sound that’s between scared and thankful, Robin takes out a little box and hands it to him

“Thiz onez are normal grey zo you can zay you’re hiding it until it finizhez or zomething” said Robin

Really, Karkat had found himself on hell of a moirrail, actually Robin was the best moirrail and no one could tell him otherwise

But would this story be if it centred merely on Karkat. Dave had gone back downstairs and found John, whom he had left in order to pursue the run-away troll, he walked to him with his normally stoic expression

“I found him, Aresta’s taking care of him, what did you do to the guy?” asked Dave

“I don’t know, are you sure it was me?” asked John

“I tell you, dude was silent as a rock I can’t believe you didn’t notice” said Dave

“I thought he was being nice? God, Robin’s gonna kill me” said John

“Dude, you’re so fucked” said Dave

The doors to the balcony opened making way for the red-head and the troll, Karkat was back to frowning and Robin was smiling normally as they approached them, the red-head’s smile turned to a sorry grin, Karkat kept walking only glancing their way and waiting for her a good distance away

“I’m zorry John, it zeemz I waz miztanken and ended up making my moirrail panic, which I can’t forgive myzelf from doing” said Robin

“So, I’m not at fault?” asked John

“Well, you kind of are, but it’z thiz time it’z moztly on me, zo if you’re ztill interezted , I can try to get you zomeone elze” said Robin grinning

Violet eyes then moved to Dave, if anyone ever said that Robin could talk with her eyes, you better bet they’re being honest, Dave even felt a bit embarrassed and everything, even though he hid it

“Zee you later Ztrider” said Robin

She then looked at John as if to make it seem like nothing happened

“Egbert” said Robin

With that said she walked away and reached the waiting troll, they then left talking about random things; John stared at them

“What just happened?” asked John

“Dude, you don’t want to fry your brain trying to understand an Aresta, they’re almost on the same level as we Striders, only second to anyone who’s surname is Brhet, ‘cause Cassie is cool like that” said Dave

-Back with Karkat and Robin-

“I’ll let you know you will have to help me find zomeone that would be okay with dating Egbert, juzt in caze” said Robin

“Fuck, can’t you just convince Ampora or something?” asked Karkat

“Yeah, I guezz I can but it feelz like cheating” said Robin

“I doubt anyone else would be interested, and I’m the idiot who thought he was flushed for the dork” said Karkat

“Fair enough, but I’m only azking if Egbert tellz me he wantz to try again, Ampora can be volatile and I know zomeone who could actually tolerate him” said Robin

“I’d be surprised if you pull that last part off” said Karkat

“Hey, I know he’z zomewhat pozezzive and kind of rassizt, but he izn’t all that terrible” said Robin

Karkat raises an eyebrow and she frowns

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m a nisse cookie” said Robin

“Sometimes I forget just how weird you really are” said Karkat

Robin grinned, one could never make an Aresta mad with such commentary, he knew it and she knew he knew, it was nice knowing that she’d never take his words to heart, he wasn’t good at not insulting people


	9. In which the characters talk though pesterchum/trollian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In all honesty this was born because there wasn’t enough Davekat and I wanted to contribute, but I was a Johnkat fan when I started Homestuck and became a Davekat trash while reading the comic, way before the update though, so I wanted that to be present here but I lost all inspiration in this story so I’m making it a lot shorter than I originally intended

Chapter 9: In which the characters talk though pesterchum/trollian

The computer is still, nothing happens, Karkat groans yet again, a ping sound tells him someone is pestering him, he dreads it being Sollux but finds the very short and very much modified handle of his moirrail, thank fucking gog

**\-- MoonShoes** **[MS]** **began pestering carcinoGeneticist**   **[CG]** **\--**

**MS: Zupziez!**

**MS: My ‘your moirrail iz in pain’ inztintz were tingling**

**MS: Zo I dessided to check out on you**

**MS: Waz my human think pan correct**

**MS: ((have I ever told you how much I like the troll termz for thingz? I zhould have))**

**CG: FIRST OF**

**CG: WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE ACTUALLY GOOD AT THE MOIRRAILIGANCE STUFF**

**CG: SECOND**

**CG: FUCK YOU, I’M FINE**

**MS: Kar, I can zee you bulzhiting me from here**

**MS: My houze izn’t that cloze to yourz**

**MS: Zo tell me what’z up**

**CG: FUCK, FINE**

**CG: I’M JUST FAILING AT CODING LIKE USUAL**

**CG: REALLY, I CAN FEEL CAPTOR LAUGHING AT ME IN THE DISTANCE**

**MS: Want me to give your codez a look?**

**CG: WHY?**

**Ms: I know thingz**

**MS: Ou <**

**CG: THAT’S JUST WHAT I NEEDED**

**CG: YET ANOTHER PERSON WHO IS BETTER AT THIS SHIT THAN ME**

**CG: YOU’RE MAKING GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS ON THE MOIRRAILIEGANCE CONOUNDRUM**

**CG: CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS**

**MS: *Bowz***

**MS: But zeriouzly**

**MS: I juzt happen to have a handy hacker in my vissinity**

**MS: Or rather, I have Benedict here and he’z good with that ztuff**

**MS: He zayz he doezn’t mind giving it a look, zo…**

**MS: You zhould be glad, he izn’t nisse all that often**

**CG: FINE, I’LL SEND THE FILE TO YOU**

**\-- carcinoGeneticist**   **[CG]** **sent file: FUCKTHISHIT** **\--**

**MS: Ressieved**

**MS: Wow**

**CG: WHAT**

**MS: Kar, did you zeriouzly write this?**

**CG: WHAT?**

**CG: WHY ARE YOU ASKING?**

**MS: Well, it’z a very volatile viruz**

**MS: I can tell that much and I’m not that good at thiz myzelf**

**MS: Benedict iz juzt ztaring at it**

**MS: It’z creeping me out**

**CG: OK, CALM DOWN NOOKWHIFF**

**CG: CALL HIS NAME OR SOMETHING**

**CG: I DON’T KNOW**

**MS: I did**

**MS: I think he’z crying**

**MS: Kar, you made Ben cry, I’m zo proud**

**MS: Not gonna tell you what he zayz though**

**MS: He’z being a rude cookie**

**CG: NO, WHAT DOES HE SAY**

**MS: Urgh, fine**

**MS: He zayz you’re a zhitty hacker and zhould not be allowed near a computer**

**CG: WOW, I DIDN’T NEED TO HEAR THAT**

**MS: Zee, I didn’t want to tell you**

**MS: Don’t worry though I hit him zquare in the head**

**MS: Made him fall to the ground and everything**

**CG: THANKS, I GUESS**

**MS: Don’t mention it**

**MS: But to be fair, zinsse I juzt pretty much put your work on view of Zollux number two**

**MS: Let me make it up to you**

**CG: SURE, WHATEVER**

**MS: And pleze don’t tell Captor I zaid anything related to the number two**

**MS: Neither of uz would hear the end of it**

**CG: YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME**

**MS: There’z way too much pinkizh-violet in this converzation**

**MS: You zure you’re fine?**

**CG: YEAH, NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY**

**MS: Ok**

**MS: I’m ztill making thingz up to you**

**MS: You juzt wait**

**MS: Pyl <>!**

**\-- MoonShoes** **[MS]** **left the log**

**CG: UGH**

**CG: SURE <>**

**\-- carcinoGeneticist** **[CG]** **ceased trolling MoonShoes** **[MS]** **\--**

Remember how this was supposed to be better than talking to Captor? Guess what? It wasn’t, ok maybe it sort of was, at least Robin tried not to be mean about stuff and she promised to make it up to him which sounds good

 

==>Meanwhile

 

Robin smiles at her screen and goes into the lower names on pesterchum and finds that the one she wants is connected

 

**\-- MoonShoes** **[MS]** **begun pestering timaeusTestified** **[TT]** **\--**

**MS: Haz anyone ever told you that your handle iz overly complicated**

**MS: ‘Cauze it iz**

**TT: You a couple times**

**TT: Some of them you even said hi before starting to spout lisp-y randomness**

**MS: I think you are confuzzed Ztrider**

**TT: Fair enough**

**TT: You said** **“** **zupziez** **”**

**MS: That’z better**

**TT: You made me do air quotes; how dare you?**

**MS: Oh, zhuzh you!**

**MS: Anyway I’m in the middizt of one of my mazter planz**

**MS: Zo I need you to do zomething for me**

**TT: Depends on what you ask**

**TT: And don’t threaten me with that one thing ‘cause we both know you’re saving it for the right time**

**MS: You know me a little too well**

**MS: I have conflicted feelingz about that**

**MS: But it zhould be zimple enough**

**MS: I juzt need to talk to your brother**

**TT: Who you setting him up with?**

**MS: Dirk**

**MS: DIRK**

**MS: Are you aware of what you’re azking right now?**

**TT: Fair enough**

**TT: I’ll get him here**

**TT: yo**

**MS: Zupziez**

**MS: I’m guezzing you’re either trolling with me or really Dave**

**TT: i’m Dave**

**TT: you do realize you could have just asked for my chumhandle**

**TT: instead of you know, making me talk through here**

**TT: that way you wouldn’t have to worry about getting trolled by bro**

**MS: I could also have juzt hacked my way into pezterchum and found it on my own**

**MS: But that wouldn’t have indulged that reazonable amount of red text now would it?**

**MS: ‘Zidez, this iz fazter**

**TT: i’m not gonna ask**

**MS: You zhould**

**MS: ´Cauze I have zome info you might want Ou <**

**TT: ok no, i’m not discussing this in bro’s chum**

**TT: i’ll send you a proper log damnit**

**MS: OwO**

**\-- timaeusTestified** **[TT]** **left the log --**

Robin lays back in her chair trying to imagine a flustered Dave, she wonders if it’ll be anything like a flustered Dirk, probably

Oh, look, a log!

 

**\-- turntechGodneck** **[TG]** **begun pestering MoonShoes** **[MS]** **\--**

**TG: so**

**MS: I have dessided that I’ll help you out a little**

**MS: ‘Cauze you really need a reazon to keep talking to him now**

**TG: i should probably be weary considering how your last idea turned out**

**TG: but i have consideration for all these other people who think you’re some kind of goddess**

**TG: so what are you planning?**

**MS: Well, I’m planning to take my moirrail out zoon**

**MS: And I couldn’t be blamed if we crozzed wayz with you**

**MS: Ou~**

**TG: you are an evil girl Aresta**

**MS: I’m a evil geniuz Ztrider**

**MS: Pyl~**

**\-- MoonShoes** **[MS]** **left log --**

**TG: you didn’t give me any details though**

**TG: so i guess you haven’t thought anything up**

**TG: that or you’re bulshiting me**

**TG: idk which one would be better**

**\-- turntechGodneck** **[TG]** **ceased petering MoonShoes** **[MS]** **\--**

 

==>Be Robin

You grin and open the searcher, time to do some plotting, this time, to pull out a very rom-com kind of move, only you know better

Your name is Robin Aresta and this is going to be your best play yet, although you should also talk to Dirk, you see he re-joined the conversation

 

**\-- timaeusTestified** **[TT]** **re-joined the log --**

**MS: I zee you’re back here**

**MS: Which meanz Dave probably pestered me from hiz computer**

**MS: Zo, you had queztionz**

**TT: Oh, nothing out of this world**

**TT: Just wanna know who my bro’s crush is**

**TT: Thought you would tell me that much**

**MS: I can tell you now if you ztill want to know**

**TT: I do want to know**

**MS: ‘Kay**

**MS: Do you remember that zhouty troll that hangz around with Zollux?**

**MS: Well, your bro iz very gay for him**

**MS: Don’t tell him I told you though**

**TT: You put me o a tight spot Aresta**

**TT: Giving me these perfect materials and then asking me not to touch them**

**MS: Zorry, but you will be able to bother them all you want onsse they ztart zeing each other**

**MS: Ou~**

**TT: I can see your brain cells working from here**

**TT: I want in on the plot this time around**

**MS: That’z beautiful**

**MS: Totally could uze another heart for thiz**

**MS: Can’t azk Nep about it**

**MS: I think zhe’z ztill into Kar**

**TT: That’s a shame**

**TT: When we’re done with this lets get her someone too**

**MS: You’re a beautiful zoul Ztrider**

**MS: Don’t let anyone tell you otherwize**

**\-- MoonShoes** **[MS]** **ceased pestering timaeusTestified** **[TT]** **\--**


	10. In which all ends and lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry; I’m horrible, let’s just never talk about this fic ever again

Many things could happen when one Robin Aresta put a plan into motion, even more things could happen if she teamed up with one Rose Lalonde, but when she teamed up with one of her club-mates, no one knew what to expect… especially since said club-mate was one Dirk Strider

Still, it took a long while before Dave got Karkat to feel anything for him other than ‘hey, you’re not as horrible as I thought’, and even more for Robin to give him the go ahead to confess anything, the plan backfired only when suddenly the whole school was there waiting to see what happened and nether Dirk nor Robin knew how to get the other two out of there, granted they all cheered when it happened but it was still embarrassing for poor Karkat so Robin promised to take him to see a rom-com on the cinema

“But I guezz everyone zhipped Davekat, I’m zuprized” said Robin

“Did you just give my bro and his alien boyfriend a ship name?” asked Dirk

“Yez, I did” said Robin

“I like it” said Dirk

“Are you two done embarrassing other people or should I abscond and save myself while I still can?” asked Karkat

“Oh, I might be consserned about a full-out confezzion, but I’m perfectly fine with mezzing with you” said Robin

Violet eyes moved to Dave who got the idea and grabbed Karkat’s hand before absconding, Dirk chuckled and was suddenly the one being watched

“I think you and I have to find out kitty a mate mizter” said Robin

“You make it sound like Nep is our pet, that’s just dirty Aresta” said Dirk

“I know we’re both ottakuz, but you’re taking the hentai too far Ztrider” said Robin

“Come on, let’s find someone for the nekko-girl” said Dirk

“Zure, but I’m not calling you zempai” said Robin

“Damn it, that would’ve been cool as hell” said Dirk

“At leazt you got to zay one ironic az fuck line right there” said Robin

“Fair enough” said Dirk

==>

Dave stopped once they were well away, Karkat almost fell on him but he cached him, the troll frowned at him

“Warn me next time you do that fuckass” said Karkat

Dave just smiled, honestly he felt like soaring, ‘cause while the writer has lost all inspiration for the particular story, Dave had to live it and therefore suffer the previously mentioned pinning, did I mention the pinning? There was pinning, on Dave’s part of course, Karkat was more of a ‘tough to convinsse cookie’ as said by Robin

“Why are you smiling like that?” asked Karkat

“You just admitted that you liked me back there Kitkat” said Dave

“You’re such an idiot” said Karkat

“Yeah, but I’m trying to become your idiot, maybe” said Dave

Karkat blushed and frowned at the same time, closing his fists, he was probably resisting the urge to punch Dave, he did grab him by his shirt Dave’s eyes widened and then opened a bit more when instead he was kissed. Now, kissing was something he was fine with, totally fine, and kissing with Karkat? Hell yes! So of course he kissed back

The end


End file.
